It has been several years since I have written on here. So I am going to just catch up on the past 3 years.
Allee got pregnant again by a guy that is sooooooo abusive by the name of Rob. Aiden was born on Feb 8, 2010. I truly don't know much about Aiden because I have not seen him since July 2010. That being said....I think I need to explain. In June and again in August, Rob physically abused Snowe. While the courts gave David (Snowe's biological father) custody in November they state that he has to remain in FL to get custody of Snowe. I now live in NC to help him with all the leg work to get Snowe safe. Allee refused to allow me to see Snowe since I supported David in getting Snowe so there was no use in living in FL anymore. For some odd reason she has remained with Rob even though he is verbally and physically abusive to her and Snowe as well. So far I have not heard of any physical abuse to Aiden but I really don't know. I thought that by us always getting away from Kevin (my first husband) that Allee would see that no person should ever lay a hand on you. I guess she isn't as strong as tried to get her. Some individuals feel as if they have to have a man in their life and that they don't deserve any better than an abusive ignorant jerk. While Allee is very book smart, she has shown me in the past year that book smarts does not make you intelligent.
Strength is something that we all strive for on a daily basis. While we each have our strengths on things, strength within is the hardest to obtain. I understand how much it takes to stand up on your own two feet and not allow someone else to "control" my every move, thought, or emotion. After having Kevin (ex) as my husband I learned that I can be strong without needing to be validated by a man that I am someone. I raised Allee with strength that I want the best for my child and I only depended on myself to do so. When Snowe was born I found an even stronger strength to protect and to nurture in a different way than I did with Allee. Now I cry every day for fear of what is happening to Snowe. There is nothing I can do for Allee now because in her words "your a bitch and it will be a cold day in hell before I ever speak to you outside of court". I know for now she will have to get pass her hatred for me before I can ever be anything more than just a "bitch" to her. She is over 18 so I have no more control of what she does. I can only pray that one day she will see Rob for who he is (which by the way his criminal record goes as far back as 10+_ years and all includes drugs and assault/death/abuse.) As for Aiden.......while he will always be my grand-son, he probably not know me except from whatever Snowe tells him.
As much as I want to say that we control how our children grow up, I can't. Our best intentions can only go so far with them. Our mistakes are not always mistakes for them. What is a good choice for you does not mean it will be good for them. No matter how much we love them, it does not control how they see love or how they love. I told Allee every day I love her and that I am proud of her. I taught her that she should not rely on anyone to make her happy and to always put family first. Instead, she allows one abusive man to control her every move, thought, and emotion. We can only support our children and give them the tools they need to survive and live. If our children head down the wrong road, we don't stop loving them. We just have to continue showing them love and help guide them in the right direction.
Well that is enough for now. Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy your families. You never know how one of their decisions may change the relationship you have now.
Allee got pregnant again by a guy that is sooooooo abusive by the name of Rob. Aiden was born on Feb 8, 2010. I truly don't know much about Aiden because I have not seen him since July 2010. That being said....I think I need to explain. In June and again in August, Rob physically abused Snowe. While the courts gave David (Snowe's biological father) custody in November they state that he has to remain in FL to get custody of Snowe. I now live in NC to help him with all the leg work to get Snowe safe. Allee refused to allow me to see Snowe since I supported David in getting Snowe so there was no use in living in FL anymore. For some odd reason she has remained with Rob even though he is verbally and physically abusive to her and Snowe as well. So far I have not heard of any physical abuse to Aiden but I really don't know. I thought that by us always getting away from Kevin (my first husband) that Allee would see that no person should ever lay a hand on you. I guess she isn't as strong as tried to get her. Some individuals feel as if they have to have a man in their life and that they don't deserve any better than an abusive ignorant jerk. While Allee is very book smart, she has shown me in the past year that book smarts does not make you intelligent.
Strength is something that we all strive for on a daily basis. While we each have our strengths on things, strength within is the hardest to obtain. I understand how much it takes to stand up on your own two feet and not allow someone else to "control" my every move, thought, or emotion. After having Kevin (ex) as my husband I learned that I can be strong without needing to be validated by a man that I am someone. I raised Allee with strength that I want the best for my child and I only depended on myself to do so. When Snowe was born I found an even stronger strength to protect and to nurture in a different way than I did with Allee. Now I cry every day for fear of what is happening to Snowe. There is nothing I can do for Allee now because in her words "your a bitch and it will be a cold day in hell before I ever speak to you outside of court". I know for now she will have to get pass her hatred for me before I can ever be anything more than just a "bitch" to her. She is over 18 so I have no more control of what she does. I can only pray that one day she will see Rob for who he is (which by the way his criminal record goes as far back as 10+_ years and all includes drugs and assault/death/abuse.) As for Aiden.......while he will always be my grand-son, he probably not know me except from whatever Snowe tells him.
As much as I want to say that we control how our children grow up, I can't. Our best intentions can only go so far with them. Our mistakes are not always mistakes for them. What is a good choice for you does not mean it will be good for them. No matter how much we love them, it does not control how they see love or how they love. I told Allee every day I love her and that I am proud of her. I taught her that she should not rely on anyone to make her happy and to always put family first. Instead, she allows one abusive man to control her every move, thought, and emotion. We can only support our children and give them the tools they need to survive and live. If our children head down the wrong road, we don't stop loving them. We just have to continue showing them love and help guide them in the right direction.
Well that is enough for now. Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy your families. You never know how one of their decisions may change the relationship you have now.
