friends

Have you ever had a friend that when things are going good they are there for you all the time but when things aren't great you can't seem to reach them? Or the other kind of friend that the only time you hear from them is when they need something? Or maybe the kind that no matter what is going on they have it worst?

I have a "friend" that the only time I ever hear from them is when their life don't have a man, they have no one else to talk to, AND they need something. We will call her Ashley. The second I hear her voice I know what is coming next. Since the day I met her (about 10 yrs ago), I am the one that she calls when nothing is going good and she needs to confirm that her life is perfect in every way.

She is a beautiful woman on the outside but on the inside she has got a great many issues with needing to be told that she is good, beautiful, needed, etc. I know word for word almost how the conversation will go. First she will ask how I am doing, then she will say things aren't that great for her and that she is alone again. After she goes through what has happened since the last call which usually takes about 20 minutes because I haven't heard from her in about 6 months to a year. This time she told of her trips to Paris with some guy named Chris who didn't give her everything she needed (which is why she is alone again). She will sigh a couple times then she will say so what is going on with you. This time I explained about Allee and the baby. She will say you know I feel for you but I am so glad my life is better than yours. She'll wait about 2 minutes then say "Well, I need to go. I have friends coming over so I will call you back sometime this weekend so we can see when we can get together for dinner or something." I won't hear from her for another 6 months to a year. Why do I put up with it? I know the way it is going to be with her. Yet I still answer her call and I still call her a friend. I do this because I know who she is and I know what to expect. She doesn't do anything different. I know that she is a good person but she was taught to always have a man around to be happy and since I have known her I am the one that helps her stabilize so to speak after a break-up. It don't hurt me and it helps her so I continue with her break-up calls.

We all have a friend that we call when things are bad that we count on being there for us. We have those that we know that when the going gets tough not to call unless things are going well and they don't have to be supportive. But there are only a couple of people that we can count on to be there thick or thin, good or bad, that will tell us the truth at all cost, and that even when we get mad at them it doesn't stop us from loving them. I have been fortunate enough to have 2 people in my life like that. No matter if our calls aren't everyday, I know when we talk again it is just like I spoke to her yesterday.

This world has gotten where friendships are taken for granted and used instead of treasured.
Today take a minute to call your friends and just let them know you were thinking about them. A gesture from you could change that person from a sometime friend to a good friend.

Have a great week.