Relationships

I was recently speaking to an old friend "Jason" that was talking about his conquests he has right now. One of the statements he made got me thinking. That comment was "I am no different in dating now then I was in high school".

Here is what I am thinking............................

That statement is somewhat true for people. The only difference in how people date in the adult years to when they are teenagers is the venue. Instead of McDonald's, a movie and then lovers lane to in the adult life you go to Steak and Ale, a show, and then back to yours/his place. I even had Jason explain the 3 date rule to me. Where as depending on how far he gets will set the stage for the next 3 dates and if there will ever be a 4th (which usually don't happen). Jason is in his late 30's, been married and divorced once, has 2 kids and one day wants to get married again but so far is look at relationships seems to keep him from it. Granted he don't have any problems getting women or even having people tell him no when he wants a "second" go at something but is that a way to live?

I have been married more than once and was cheated on very badly by my 2nd ex-husband. I haven't been out dating much since the marriage ended 7 yrs ago. I don't have to have someone to exist or to feel good about myself. Don't get me wrong I miss the being held, the being a couple part and the connection you have from a relationship but I am not one to jump in the bed with someone after just meeting them and that seems to be what I keep finding that guys expect by the so-called 3rd date.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life single (notice I didn't say alone), but I would rather be single than cheapen myself to have sex when I believe sex is more than just a freebie. I believe it is worth waiting until the relationship is mature enough to handle it.


I guess in a way I am old school. I think that the relationship has to develop before you can add intimacy of sex into the equation. Intimacy isn't just the sexual part either. Just because I don't get to the sexual part off right from the first date doesn't make me a prude. It means I want more than just that. I want true intimacy that comes from a touch, a word, a connection, or a friendship. Since I high school the dating may not have changed but my expectations have. I know what I want and expect in a relationship and I won't settle for less.

Another friend "Jessica" says I should just lower my standards and just have fun. What Jessica doesn't understand is that if I lower my standards then I will just get just that. Nothing more, nothing less, and basically nothing in a relationship.

I wrote a list one time of what I expect from a man and a relationship. There are 10 things that no matter what I won't except anything less on. The funny part is Jessica and I did these lists together and she is in a relationship she hates but don't know how to get out of because she don't want to be alone and it is very unsatisfying. When I asked did she keep to her list she said no. She had to lower expectations. So, now she is the one hurting not the guy. He is content because to Jim he didn't go lower he moved up with Jessica.


So, the purpose of this blog is....................

1. Dating is no different from high school. Just different Venues.

2. Set yourself a list of things that you will not settle less than those, how ever many, things.

3. When you settle for one thing you may be missing something right around the corner that is exactly what you are looking for in the first place.

4. Last but not least...........If you make a list don't put yourself in a position to have to settle for less. If you are an average person then it wouldn't make sense to put you want a millionaire. Be realistic to yourself and with what you want.